How to Let Go of Past Hurts

Dear all,

Hope everyone is doing great. Tonight I feel like blogging :) In a good mood, not as busy tonight. Just checked in my flight, yay flying soon insyaAllah.

This is a pretty deep topic. Felt like writing something deep, that hopefully most people can relate to. No matter who you are, student, teenager, adult, mum, grandma, dad, grandpa, brother, sister, friend, lover, neighbour, lover, any important person in your life, there is bound to be hurt in one way or another.  I realise that many of us live in the past, dwelling on the past hurts. I am not asking you to ignore or not acknowledge any hurtful feelings. You need to acknowledge and accept it fully before you can fully move past it. There must be a reason why it hurt, you have your reasons. If the person was not important, it would not hurt in the first place. Although you have a tendency to be annoyed by a random person or acquaintance, you are less likely to be hurt by them. It only hurts once you build a personal relationship. One thing for sure, never blame yourself if someone hurts you but also do not put the blame completely on the person. Either way, it is unhealthy for you. Blaming yourself will make you lose self-worth and confidence. Blaming the other person will make you feel a grudge and anger. Recently, I feel hurt because someone close was untruthful to me about something and for a long time. Even when I found out, the person was still thinking I did not know and continued. It is not a super big issue but I feel so hurt to be deceived by someone I trusted. Someone I really looked up to. When something like this happens, the first question is why. In my case, I did not hide anything. I am transparent and I share almost everything about my life truthfully. Things like this you don't easily understand. Even if the person gives their reason, it does not make sense completely.

Here are some ways I find useful dealing with hurtful situations and moving past it:

• Express your anger by writing or speaking to a trusted person that knows you well.
• Express sorrow by allowing yourself to cry or grieve.
• Give yourself time. Time heals the past.
• Be kind to yourself, you do not have to be OK immediately.
• Speak to the person you are hurt from once you have calmed down.
• Expect that when someone hurts you (obviously their fault), they are less likely to have a good reason for doing so.
• If the person is really a good person most of the time, assume that this is a mistake they did. If it is a rare mistake, forgive them.
• Being too nice might not work well in your favour but have compassion for the other person for what they are going through in life.
• Remind yourself of the good things they have done if it is difficult to forgive.
• Sit down and reflect on the situation. 
• Remind yourself that you have mistakes as well that you would want people to forgive you.
• Avoid speaking about it repeatedly and too much.
• Be firm with the person so they know how you are serious and mean what you say.
• If this person is really not worth your time and has repeatedly hurt you, let them go.
• In the end, you must think of your well-being. Constant hurt is not healthy.
• Value yourself enough to recognise if the situation is too much.
• You may be biased or overreact for the first week or two, wait until making a decision.
• Be careful what you say when you are angry. You do not want to have any regrets.
• Remember that your life is not just about this thing you are facing, there are so many more things to it. Look at the bigger picture.
• People always say 'be positive', I know it is easier said than done. I am generally a positive person so I try to look at the good in the situation. I believe that everything happens for a reason so although maybe upset at the start, eventually, I feel OK about it because if you look at any situation carefully, many good things happen as a result or right after something not-so-good. They did not say 'after the rain comes a rainbow' for no reason. For people with belief like me, we believe in these things. Every single thing in the universe or that happens to you is part of God's plan for the bigger picture of things and usually for the better of your life. Stick to this belief and you will get over any unpleasant feelings easily insyaAllah. 

If you are facing anything, cheer up my dear. Wishing you all a lovely week ahead. Many hugs and kisses. I received some personal messages as well if you do have anything you would like to share with me privately, drop me an email and I will try my best to reply asap. Your message is important to me :) Thanks for visiting my blog, lots of love.

XOXO

LittleMissMeen