What to Know Before Falling in Love
Love is a world-wide popular word. Love is what almost every girl dreams of, falling in love with Prince Charming and meeting Mr. Right, getting married and living happily ever after, The feeling of wanting to love and be loved is indescribable. Almost every human can relate to this, regardless race, religion, skin colour and social status.
Women are commonly very vulnerable when falling in love and often heads over heels when loving a man. It is sometimes true when people say that love is blind. When in love, often the flaws are overlooked. Over time, realisation kicks in and sometimes it is too late or difficult to turn back. It is not always the woman's fault completely when this happens but being careful before falling too deeply in love and choosing your partner wisely are often two things that can help create that 'happily ever after' every woman hopes for.
Before falling in love, I believe the first step is to love yourself and to be clear about what you are looking for in a relationship. List down the characteristics that are most important to you. The person you meet might not fulfill every single criterion and it's OK as long as both of you are able to work things out and come up with an agreement.
Having misunderstandings are common especially in your first year. There are so many things to know about each other so it is understandable to have little arguments here and there. However, the most important thing to do is to find a solution and to solve it diplomatically.
If you ask me personally, do not fall in love too easily. Get to know the person first and their background and their family and their friends before committing to a serious relationship. Do not jeopardise your safety and happiness before being clear about the lifetime commitment you are putting yourself into. It is true that sometimes even when you do that, there is a chance the person can change at a later stage. I believe that as long as you did your part at the beginning, that is the most important thing. Life is full of uncertainties. If a person is too cautious and unable to trust anyone, then the person will live a lonely life. It is a personal choice. You decide what is best for you and make the decision.
Ask for opinions but not for too many opinions. It is after all your love life. Identify those few very close people in your life that your partner will see often and you are most likely to meet them with your partner in the future. Ask those people's opinion and you can hope to get approval from them. It could be your parents, siblings, best friends, cousins, anyone who you are close to. They know you better as you have known them longer than the person you are dating so getting their approval and advice would be useful. However, you do not need to get everyone's approval because it is clearly difficult to please everyone. As long as you are happy and those particularly close to you are happy, then go ahead and be confident that he is Mr. Right. You still need time to get to know each other but now you can take the relationship to another level.
Know your priorities. Your partner must be able to understand your work/study commitments and vice versa. Find common ground and compromise. It is easy to simply expect the person to understand but a strong relationship requires respect, compassion and compromise. You do not want him to call between 8-10pm because it is your study time. He needs to respect that but at the same time be kind to him and call him immediately after your study time or before depending when is more convenient for him. Be considerate when he has an important meeting or deadline. Try to not call him or interrupt him with unimportant issues. Although you really need to tell him about a lovely bag you just bought, that can wait. Be caring and kind and show him what is important to him is important to you too.
It's OK to have standards. If you have standards, then it is OK to expect your partner to have standards too. You are not being unkind. You are being kind to yourself for respecting your standards. Of course, do not say it in someone's face. Identify and observe his character. His background, his career and his social life. This is very subjective because when you love someone a lot and compatible with him or her, you can work things out together. Do not put your standard unrealistically high, stay humble and accepting but at the same, acknowledge the standard you would expect from a partner at the beginning.
Looks are not everything. For me, its character before looks. If you are good-looking but your character is horrible or incompatible, then it's a solid no. If you have a great character and compatible but moderately good looking, then that is an immediate yes. Looks can improve or deteriorate so do not get too caught up with looks alone. Look at the bigger picture.
If both of you are looking into long-term commitments, be really clear about your expectations after marriage. You should also ask him about his expectations after marriage. There is a quiz online that you can try doing together for couples before marriage. Technology nowadays, pretty excellent ;)
Love is an amazing feeling. When you are in love with someone, you should feel very comfortable and safe around him. You feel very excited every time you see him. He makes you feel like a princess and you know you can be yourself. He has seen you in bad times like when you are crying and still love you. He has seen you angry and upset and still can accept you for who you are. You can chat endlessly and always have something to talk about. He makes you laugh. he enjoys your company and makes you feel very special. He sees all the positive things about you and overlooks the negative traits. This is called compatibility. Being compatible with your partner is the #1 rule before taking the relationship a step further. If you are not compatible with a person, that does not mean that that person is unkind or that you are unkind. Both of you can be really kind and amazing individuals but you are simply not compatible. Since high school, I am very clear with the one kind of trait I cannot tolerate in a guy and that is too much ego. Urgh, please, no. There is a difference between a confident and an egoistic person. I can tolerate the former but not the latter. Know clearly what kind of behaviour you cannot tolerate and it will help you in your love journey.
Renew the relationship. Anniversaries are really meant for married couples but couples who are not married yet should have a special date that they celebrate, maybe the first date or any other special dates that you celebrate together. People often underestimate renewing the love but trust me, this is highly crucial.
Finally, I would like to say to all women, if you find someone who loves you a lot, compatible and fulfills most of the things you are looking for in a man, do not play it too hard and be accepting of his good intentions towards you. Someone who loves you a lot for who you are and adores you will make your relationship even sweeter.
Have a lovely day, lots of love :)
XOXO
Women are commonly very vulnerable when falling in love and often heads over heels when loving a man. It is sometimes true when people say that love is blind. When in love, often the flaws are overlooked. Over time, realisation kicks in and sometimes it is too late or difficult to turn back. It is not always the woman's fault completely when this happens but being careful before falling too deeply in love and choosing your partner wisely are often two things that can help create that 'happily ever after' every woman hopes for.
Before falling in love, I believe the first step is to love yourself and to be clear about what you are looking for in a relationship. List down the characteristics that are most important to you. The person you meet might not fulfill every single criterion and it's OK as long as both of you are able to work things out and come up with an agreement.
Having misunderstandings are common especially in your first year. There are so many things to know about each other so it is understandable to have little arguments here and there. However, the most important thing to do is to find a solution and to solve it diplomatically.
If you ask me personally, do not fall in love too easily. Get to know the person first and their background and their family and their friends before committing to a serious relationship. Do not jeopardise your safety and happiness before being clear about the lifetime commitment you are putting yourself into. It is true that sometimes even when you do that, there is a chance the person can change at a later stage. I believe that as long as you did your part at the beginning, that is the most important thing. Life is full of uncertainties. If a person is too cautious and unable to trust anyone, then the person will live a lonely life. It is a personal choice. You decide what is best for you and make the decision.
Ask for opinions but not for too many opinions. It is after all your love life. Identify those few very close people in your life that your partner will see often and you are most likely to meet them with your partner in the future. Ask those people's opinion and you can hope to get approval from them. It could be your parents, siblings, best friends, cousins, anyone who you are close to. They know you better as you have known them longer than the person you are dating so getting their approval and advice would be useful. However, you do not need to get everyone's approval because it is clearly difficult to please everyone. As long as you are happy and those particularly close to you are happy, then go ahead and be confident that he is Mr. Right. You still need time to get to know each other but now you can take the relationship to another level.
Know your priorities. Your partner must be able to understand your work/study commitments and vice versa. Find common ground and compromise. It is easy to simply expect the person to understand but a strong relationship requires respect, compassion and compromise. You do not want him to call between 8-10pm because it is your study time. He needs to respect that but at the same time be kind to him and call him immediately after your study time or before depending when is more convenient for him. Be considerate when he has an important meeting or deadline. Try to not call him or interrupt him with unimportant issues. Although you really need to tell him about a lovely bag you just bought, that can wait. Be caring and kind and show him what is important to him is important to you too.
It's OK to have standards. If you have standards, then it is OK to expect your partner to have standards too. You are not being unkind. You are being kind to yourself for respecting your standards. Of course, do not say it in someone's face. Identify and observe his character. His background, his career and his social life. This is very subjective because when you love someone a lot and compatible with him or her, you can work things out together. Do not put your standard unrealistically high, stay humble and accepting but at the same, acknowledge the standard you would expect from a partner at the beginning.
Looks are not everything. For me, its character before looks. If you are good-looking but your character is horrible or incompatible, then it's a solid no. If you have a great character and compatible but moderately good looking, then that is an immediate yes. Looks can improve or deteriorate so do not get too caught up with looks alone. Look at the bigger picture.
If both of you are looking into long-term commitments, be really clear about your expectations after marriage. You should also ask him about his expectations after marriage. There is a quiz online that you can try doing together for couples before marriage. Technology nowadays, pretty excellent ;)
Love is an amazing feeling. When you are in love with someone, you should feel very comfortable and safe around him. You feel very excited every time you see him. He makes you feel like a princess and you know you can be yourself. He has seen you in bad times like when you are crying and still love you. He has seen you angry and upset and still can accept you for who you are. You can chat endlessly and always have something to talk about. He makes you laugh. he enjoys your company and makes you feel very special. He sees all the positive things about you and overlooks the negative traits. This is called compatibility. Being compatible with your partner is the #1 rule before taking the relationship a step further. If you are not compatible with a person, that does not mean that that person is unkind or that you are unkind. Both of you can be really kind and amazing individuals but you are simply not compatible. Since high school, I am very clear with the one kind of trait I cannot tolerate in a guy and that is too much ego. Urgh, please, no. There is a difference between a confident and an egoistic person. I can tolerate the former but not the latter. Know clearly what kind of behaviour you cannot tolerate and it will help you in your love journey.
Renew the relationship. Anniversaries are really meant for married couples but couples who are not married yet should have a special date that they celebrate, maybe the first date or any other special dates that you celebrate together. People often underestimate renewing the love but trust me, this is highly crucial.
Finally, I would like to say to all women, if you find someone who loves you a lot, compatible and fulfills most of the things you are looking for in a man, do not play it too hard and be accepting of his good intentions towards you. Someone who loves you a lot for who you are and adores you will make your relationship even sweeter.
Have a lovely day, lots of love :)
XOXO
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