Motivation of the Week- Being Kind to Yourself

Dear all,

Greetings from London. Today marks exactly 4 weeks since I returned and I am so thankful for all the things I have done and accomplished within these 28 days. Alhamdulillah

I know SPM is around the corner and thought of dropping a few motivation words for all of you. This is applicable to anyone who is approaching exam season or generally anything that challenges you at this point in time. Once again, motivation if not a one-off thing, you need it constantly for your soul just how you need food. If you are always problem-free with no motivation needed at all, then there may be an issue and worth looking into. Yes, it could be that point in life when all is going well and you are on cloud nine (weeeeee) and that is perfectly fine. What is also ok is if suddenly things change and things do not go as planned or if you have to deal with something that you dislike. I mean nobody likes to be in that sort of situation. Its frustrating, disappointing, upsetting and all the negative things you can think of. Sometimes it also shakes your confidence. However, what I would like to highlight today is that you can only do what you can. As simple as it sounds, seriously, you can only do what you are capable of. This does not mean that you cannot stretch your capabilities, of course you should be giving your best and working hard and smart at it but also remember to be kind to yourself and be contented with what ever you are capable doing. Avoid criticising or being unreasonable with what you expect yourself to do. You know yourself best, nobody else. Challenging yourself to do something difficult and being able to accomplish it will boost your confidence but there will be points before reaching there that you will question if you will be able to do this. And that is ok. Stay confident, be kind to yourself, look at the positive things and benefits of the situation and do not underestimate lessons you learned related to character building. Sometimes if I face a difficult situation and I ask myself, what did I gain out of this? A quick answer would be to say 'Nothing, mostly increased stress.' But one second, it did help in character building. It helped in terms of increasing your patience, perseverance and professional skills, problem solving skills, communicating with a difficult person skill and critical thinking. 

It is easy to forget to be kind to yourself, I experience that too sometimes. But do remember to reward yourself after accomplishing something, do not wait for others to reward you or compliment you. The best you can give yourself is sometimes self-appreciation. Remember to acknowledge yourself, tell yourself you did a great job. Write it down if it helps in your diary, explaining how you did a wonderful job today. It was hard but you managed to get through it with a positive attitude. Great achievement indeed! Being kind and acknowledging yourself will boost your self-esteem and confidence in a way that you believe that you are capable of doing something but at the same time you should not add any element of comparing yourself with another. That can be one of the most painful things that crushes the confidence you build up. Be confident with yourself without needing to compare yourself with another not only helps you to be kind to others, it also avoids you from turning that confidence to arrogance or snobbish behaviour. When you feel you are higher than everybody else, that is when confidence turns to arrogance. If you feel confident within yourself and with the capabilities you have then without any reference to another being, that confidence turns into positive energy and compassion for others which will benefit you inside out. The most beautiful character is one that has a clean heart. It is not easy to achieve this. People are easily jealous by the smallest thing, hate others for no reason, upset for the most trivial issues and complain about everything. Little did people realise that their negative energy against another being hurts themselves more than anybody else. They are being too hard on themselves by putting too high expectations from other people. It is not easy, it takes practice to achieve a state of a cleansed heart. As long as you are aiming for something and work hard towards it, you will achieve a part of it if not completely. This is something I always remind myself. If I am trying to achieve something and not sure if I will achieve it, I will tell myself this over and over again. I will achieve part of it even if not completely as long as I continue aiming and working hard towards it. 

Ok so let me cut this short and summarise how you can be kind to yourself:

• Reward yourself after achieving something even if it is something small but if it took a lot of energy and effort doing, then it certainly is worth while rewarding yourself. It could be something simple like your favourite ice cream or dessert or getting a new dress or shoes or even a reward to go out for a movie or eat at a fancy restaurant with friends

•  Say kind things to yourself, its the inner voice that sometimes gives the worse critics. If you think negative, immediately look at the positive side of the situation or if there is none to think of, think of something great you have achieved or something fun to look forward to

•  Give yourself reasonable expectations. If you have a to-do list, be reasonable on what you are able to achieve within a day or so. If you are not sure, then do the best you can and do not be disheartened if you are not able to do everything. Instead focus on what you have done. The glass is half full is better to say than half empty. It all about perspective

• Be thankful for simple things in life. Be thankful for your good health today, healthy body and being able to wake up to having food and clean water. Having you and your loved ones safe and having somewhere comfortable to live. The other day I woke up in the morning and went to the kitchen to make breakfast. I found a cute little ladybug in the kitchen! It immediately lifted my mood and made me so happy. Plus I looked outside the kitchen window and saw the sky so beautiful and said to myself, thank you God for letting me live another day and creating the beauty in this world. That little lady bug must have not known that I had a stressful day the day before but its innocent presence the following morning just added reasons for me to stay content and remind me of the simplest things in life that can keep us happy.

• Do what you enjoy. As subjective as this sounds, you are sometimes bound to doing things that you do not completely enjoy. That is absolutely normal and everyone faces it at some point in life. What is important is to do something about it in mature and tactful manner. Sometimes people do not enjoy their job but are bounded by contract. Some people do not enjoy what they study but have paid tuition fees and not able to change. For me, I did not enjoy one aspect of my course and I recognised it at an early stage during my first year of degree, 3 years ago. I made sure that I did enough research, spoke to people in both the area I enjoyed and did not enjoy, read about options, discussed with important people that are involved in my decision making, consider working options and finally made a decision. It does not matter really if you are in the majority or minority but what matters is to listen to your needs and be kind to yourself. I am being completely, 150% honest that if you ask me today, almost 3 years later, what do I think about the decision I made? I am so content and proud of myself that I decided to make that decision, no regrets at all but everytime I find myself often saying, 'I am so lucky that I decided to make that decision.' And I genuinely am thankful that I did. I am confident if I had to do the other option, I would have been fine but I would not have enjoyed it as much as other people did. I enjoy the route that I chose and happy that I had the confidence to voice out my opinion and make a change. Well done to the first year me :)

• Always find reasons to be thankful and not reasons to complain. It helps a lot. Write a list if you prefer. Motivate yourself consistently, do not underestimate the power of self-motivation.

•  In the end, there is a superior power than oneself and that is God. Believe in Him once you have done your part. I trust that He will arrange things in the best way that it should be for each of us. There will be things we like or dislike at first but He knows us best and is the best Planner. Trust Him and He will manage the rest for you.

May this article help motivate you and spread the positive energy from me. Have a beautiful week ahead :) Till my next post, take care x