People in Your Life

Good morning everyone

I was googling some interesting motivation topics to write this morning and this one caught me instantly. I believe all of us can relate to this because we are surrounded by people. People you love, people you like, people you are comfortable being around, maybe people you dislike or people you have to connect with because of circumstances and the list goes on. 

Before I start writing I would like to share some of these quotes I found on wiseoldsayings.com:

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." 

Oprah Winfrey

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, suffering, struggle, loss and have found their way out of those depths." 

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

"I've learned that people may forget what you said and what you did but people will not forget how you made them feel." 

Maya Angelou

"Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you or treat you bad. Let God deal with things they do because hate in your heart will consume you too." 

Will Smith

"You know all that really matters is that the people you love are happy and healthy. Everything else is just sprinkles on the sundae." 

Paul Walker

Dealing with other people can be a complex thing because each person is different, has a different life story, different needs, expectations, different personalities, different likes and dislikes and our differences are clearly shown by God whereby each and every person has a different thumb print and not a single soul will have a similar one. This tells us that we are special in our own way. However, these differences should not be a reason for us to disrespect, look down and have misunderstandings with one another. Try to look at the bigger picture. There are millions and billions of people in this world and each of us are different. If everyone were to become selfish, ignorant, jealous, too critical, rude and engrossed in self-pity, then life would certainly be unpleasant. People usually act in these manners because of the differences between different people, you wonder why did she do so and so, why are they not considerate and the list goes on. Being offended by somebody is as common as accidentally stepping on an ant because people get offended by different things. That is why in the Quran, it mentioned to be kind, caring, respectful, avoid hatred and jealous feelings regardless whatever situation you are facing. I am sure that every religion tells people to practice good moral values but as we grow up and face challenges, people are consumed with self-pity and selfishness that they pardon all these moral values and tend to their childish behaviour of either isolating themselves and not caring about others or letting out all negative feelings and making other people feel bad. 

Here is an example of a story, the identity of the person who wrote this and who she is writing about is kept private:

There is a good friend of mine who I really care about. She recently faced something difficult in her life and suddenly she has changed. To me, she behaves like her problems are the most important and when I speak to her, its usually all about her problems. I try my best to listen to be a good friend in times of difficulties but I have to admit that I feel this relationship is going one-way. To me, I face some challenges as well but I try my best not to let it affect others. What I encounter sometimes has nothing to do with the people I love so I try not to let them be too affected by it. I tell them about it and that is that, I try not to dwell on it and find a solution together. To me, even her speech and behaviour has changed to be less warm as she used to be and I understand it is because of the challenge she is facing. I want to keep our friendship but sometimes it drains me too much. Everyone has problems, it makes us more matured but handling our problems maturely is also a key to maintaining a healthy relationship with the people we love. Recently she mentioned something on how people change in life. In my heart, I felt that to me she has certainly changed and the person that I felt has changed is also feeling that someone else in her life has changed too. People can change as a result of our own actions or because of different circumstances in life. What I know is that I should keep spreading positive energy and God will help me keep or let go of certain people all for good reasons. InsyaAllah I will do my part and let Him decide what's best because there are things that you simply do not know and need to trust His plans.

As we grew up, there was no manual on how to deal with difficult situations, what to say to the other person, examples on situations we were about to face in life and examples or a heads up of these situations. Mostly we faced it by trial and error.

Sometimes, there will be those people who dislike you for no reason. Probably you look like someone they despise and the hatred in their heart caused them to target an innocent person to vent out their anger. 

Sometimes, there will be some people who act cold and rude for no reason you can think of or out of the blue. These people may have problems you do not know and it may not be directly your fault. They have a tendency to make you feel guilty and question what you did wrong. If there is, you can apologise. Otherwise, there is nothing you can do for a person with a hard heart apart from forgiving them and moving on with your life and what you need to do. They have no idea how much their negative energy is actually hurting themselves.

Sometimes, there are some people who want to take advantage of you. This is when being nice and kind may need to be added with a step of precaution. Yes you want to spread positive energy to others but you also need to protect yourself.

Sometimes, there are some people who simply do not care. They are nice people but they are capable of hurting your feelings by the careless actions they make. The reason for this is most probably because what they did to you is not what they find offensive for themselves. So as you can see this is when differences in people come into the picture. One man's trash is another man's treasure. The key to this is being considerate and polite and think of other people's feelings before making a rash decision. If you made a mistake, say that you are sorry and show it through your actions because actions speak louder than words.

Sometimes, people change for the good and some for the bad. Its difficult to embrace change especially when you are comfortable with how the person originally is. Remember that this world is temporary and things will change. Perhaps changes in your life and people around you are God's reminder that the reality in this world will change and The Day of Judgement will come. 

Changes and letting go is not the end of everything. Embrace today and who you have with you now. Practice forgiveness and stay away from grudges. Remember to keep a positive perspective. After the rain comes a rainbow and sometimes challenges come to test your patience and then give you something better. You certainly come out stronger.

Life is full of surprises so have belief that hardship is a test and happiness is a reward for passing those tests. Pray to God to ease your test and help you at all times. Spread love without expecting anything in return but believe God will rewards you for that.

After all, a butterfly lands on you when you least expect it :)