Love Tips: Dealing With Heartbreaks
Everlasting love is what everybody hopes for. A happy ending.
Do we all get this in life? I hate to admit the truth I wish we didn't have to answer such a question. If there was real magic, I would wish that everybody has a happy ending and the ideal life they dreamed of.
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Some of you reading this may feel very fragile and I promise that I will be very careful with my words. I love talking to you guys. Sometimes I wonder if what I write actually matters or what I blog is actually important but your thoughtful comments, the number of page views everyday (even when I haven't blogged in ages) and your requests on blog topics really motivate me to write more. Thank you to the person who requested for this topic. May you be given the ease and guidance to move on and live your life to the very best. May my words help you in this time of difficulty and seeking good material to read shows that you are now moving on and looking at your life positively :) Great job.
Love is suppose to happen. Its nature. Its God's creation. It's good.
PS: When love goes wrong, please re-read these sentences using antonyms. Thank you. ;)
When you love someone, you feel a strong force of attraction, unbelievable feelings of care and support and happiness. It seemed wonderful and then one day, all those feelings slowly disappeared. Why? That's the main question at first. First, you need to do, try and initiate anything that could save the relationship. (if you need help with this, i'll need to write it in a separate blog post: How To Save A Relationship)
When it is ending and you have tried everything to save it, then you must believe that you were not meant to be together. Perhaps that person appeared to be similar to the person that God chose to be your life partner. So you thought you were in love/had strong feelings with that person, but it was actually infatuation. So how do we know? Well my dear, only you could answer that with help from God in your prayers. Something I need to say from experience is that you will know. You will know by your inner voice, heart and soul when that's the right person. There's no specific time that it will happen but a specific time has been designated for everyone and this is something that we cannot plan. You can't exactly say that "I must fall in love by the age of 25". Yes you can get married by that age with the help of parents, arranged marriage or a matchmaking agent but for true love, no. True love will happen naturally.
So when love ever goes wrong for you and its time for you to move on, that turning point is what may be stressful and difficult. First, please pray. Nobody can help you but God. Just like a machine that is broken. You need to return it to the maker so he can fix it. Same goes with us. When we feel messed up, only our Creator can help fix us and remove our worries. He may not respond verbally but trust Him and you will see the positive difference in Your life.
Next, you need to keep yourself busy. Busy busy busy! Don't give yourself free time to cry, to sob to grieve for your lost love. You need to remember that your life is important to those people who are still with you, your parents, family, brothers and sisters, friends. Keep yourself occupied with good things, work extra hours, if you're studying, take up extra subjects and involve yourself in many activities. Perhaps those activities you are doing while moving on will help you meet/bump into the right person. Do charity, go for a healthy run, a society, religious ceremonies. If you read Chicken Soup for the Soul: Happily Ever After, you'll realise how many funny ways people meet their life partners, most of it a coincidence.
Spend less time with negative people and those who will make you feel horrible/remind you of what happened when you do not want to. You need to have a strong stand that I want my own space and I have nothing related to that person. So if they see that you have strong stand and not seem shaky about your status, people who care will stay and take your words seriously.
Delete pictures, messages and give away items that remind you of the person. Its not necessary to burn or get rid of every single piece of evidence. You can even give it for charity. But guys should bear in mind that when you're starting a new relationship, doing this will be important to the person you love. To men, they think that it doesn't mean anything to have pictures/items of the past because that person is no longer important. But in the opinion of women, doing this is solid proof that you are over someone. Most women believe that if you do not have feelings for anyone from the past then you would not mention, relate or discuss about that particular person when unnecessary.
Getting over someone is not easy. Especially if you were in a relationship for a long time. Every corner, building, car, color, music, flower, hobby, place, smell can remind you about that person. Its like dealing with death. Except that the person is still alive but no longer in your life. It can lead to depression at first. That is understood but please don't let it go on for too long. Wake up and remember that you're alive. That God actually saved you from something worse. Be thankful for the people and things you have now. Would people in war time be worrying about a little heart ache? No. They would be worrying about their heart being cut into half and not being able to return to the ones they love. Compare that to the pain you are facing. If it were not for the peace today, you could be one of those unlucky people my dear.
I do not want to write in hatred. Because I know people who are recently heartbroken can change their love for a person to pure hatred and I am not going to encourage that. Hating intensely will only hurt yourself. Let it go. For you to move on, get rid of that hatred. It will make you feel guilty one day and you do not want to return to the wrong person out of guilt. You want to be free of guilt and free to love the person who loves you now. That is why you should avoid repeating conversations about the past. For the first few months, maybe yes. You want to share and let your feelings out. After that, learn to forgive and forget. Understand that God wanted this to happen. God has better plans for you. Let yourself love again. Don't have a negative perception about love just because one or two bad experience.
Avoid personal contact with friends or people you knew through that person. It makes moving on much easier if you don't have people who keep on reminding or interrogating you about it. For close friends who know, give them a heads up so they know you do not want it to be mentioned anymore in the future.
And when you ask me how to forget about a person, when every shopping mall/ restaurant you've been to reminds you of them? Well, that more difficult because you can't get rid of the mall and you would need to go there eventually. What you could do is either avoid those places or a better solution is to deal with it heads on. Go on and sit exactly where you used to. Walk and look at the places precisely. Its still the same places. Don't be mean and blame the innocent shopping malls.
Just bear in mind, that over time, you will get over it and one day you'll walking down those places saying " Oh I used to come here once upon a time with...
"oh.. wait I forgot the name."
Embrace love. Embrace your life. You're stronger than what you think.
My blog seems quiet lately, here's a song to lift up your spirits :)
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