Forgiveness

Dear Blog,

Every time I decide to forgive someone for something they did, it makes me start crying. Not because it is painful but because the feeling makes me feel pure happiness, a feeling too great and pure. It feels like God just multiplied my reward and telling me that my decision made Him happy and that's the most important thing to me. Sometimes, people don't even need to say I'm sorry but I decide to forgive them. Why? Because I love them. Because I care about them and because I don't want to lose the people I love.

Saying I'm sorry is hard thing but when people do, it shows how much they actually regret it. At times, all of us make silly mistakes and when we do snap back to reality and realise the wrong that we've been doing, its good to know and believe that people we love will forgive us. 

Not forgiving someone is just hurting yourself. Every time you hear the person's name, see them or need to talk to them, you turn away after remembering the grudge in your heart. Have you ever forgot that you're angry with some then started acting normal again? That happens at times when our rational mind is unaware that we need to stay mad at a single person. Then our feelings and  the hearts comes in and reminds us of those negative feelings. 

When someone says I'm sorry and you feel like its impossible to forget what they've done, try thinking of this. If you were in their situation, would you be desperately hoping that things got back to normal again? I would say an immediate YES. So, forgive. Its not that difficult if you have a clean heart and the right intentions. 

Always remember that God will be very pleased with you.

When you're alone and memories of the past returns, you remember how wonderful it was when all was well. That's why you shouldn't take too long to forgive. 

On the first day that I'm upset, usually I avoid speaking to that person. Why? Because they are too precious to me and I want to avoid saying the wrong things, words spoken out of anger, words that do not come from your heart but only a result of negative feelings. 

Then, I will write a letter to that person, one which describes every single bit of my feelings. Then I'll decide if I should send it to them. Usually I'll send an edited version, one that is written with love and forgiveness, leaving out the parts that are irrelevant. Those parts will make the reader feel remorseful and they are already sad and regretful for what they did, why rub it in their face? Please don't ever do that to the people you love. Its painful both ways, to you and to the other person.

God's rule is that hurting the person you love is like stabbing a knife into your own heart, it only hurts yourself. 

Every night before going to sleep, tell God that you forgive all the people who have hurt you today or say it after your night prayers. You will be surprised at how peaceful you feel. Its amazing and it can even make you cry.

I have a friend whom I love  very much and at times, she has personal issues and is unable to speak to me or respond at all. It happens off and on and the time is really unpredictable. One moment, everything's great and the next, she seems so distant. I usually miss her a lot during that period of time but because I love and care for her, I do not expect an explanation. I respect her privacy if she does not want to share it with me but when she's alright again, I am so glad to have her back. Being in a close relationship with someone like this is not easy, but every time I feel upset with her behavior, I try to think of all the lovely times, we have so so many memories together, places we've been to, oh gosh you have no idea and she does a lot of thoughtful and lovely things for me without even being calculative at all. The last time we met was last month for a movie at One Utama and basically a day out together. She helped me to gain more confidence in driving and did not ever belittle me even once, something I will remember for a lifetime. She tried telling me everytime that I was doing alright but she would keep an eye on the road and alert me just in case I didn't realise a red light or anything. She tells me the directions and doesn't mind the fact that we've been there more than 10 times and I still forget. She makes me develop confidence in driving, something nobody has ever shown me during my first days of driving because my parents were very worried of the idea of me holding a steering wheel. Parents care and are very concerned and in my case that made me even afraid of driving. During our last outing it was my first time driving to OneUtama and she willingly took over at certain places because she was worried I wouldn't know the way and it was raining. Its not easy to meet a true friend and yes, that's why I believe there are pros and cons in every situation we face in life. We just got to focus on the pros. The main reason why I really appreciate our friendship is because I can feel the sincerity and trust between us, a feeling you are not able to develop easily with anyone. 

Sharing this piece of story, I hope to enlightened you to see the good in every situation. Living a positive life, not hoping too much from others, instead being able to willingly give will help you develop something called inner happiness.

If you ask me "What is the one thing I can do to be happy?", I would answer that in one word. "Forgive."

Now go ahead and erase all those negative feelings and start forgiving today :)