Different Feelings on Your 20th Birthday

We're lucky that blogs are virtual because if this was a book, I'd be turning to this fresh new page with a shriek as I see those spiders who just mated and laid eggs inside the very clean pages of my diary. Ok enough visualising- back to blogging here  HELLLO ok I still imagine spiders because its been 2 or is it 3 weeks since I posted here. The exam hall decided to kidnap for a few weeks and now i'm mentally exhausted which is why I took so long to return here to my sanctuary ;)

Ok well you wanna hear about my exams? ok I can hear NO (fine fine chill I'll change the topic chill man) They lasted ages which is why people who are non-A-level will complain on how long we have to be on exam mode. Not anymore :D

Well now my emo side is about to take over as I tell you this. Its not really fun when you have exams yesterday, today and tomorrow especially if "today" is your birthday. On the day of my birthday I could say this: Last night I had Biology 6, Today afternoon Physics 6 and tomorrow would be one of the toughest Physics paper- Physics 4. On the day I turned 20, I felt a little down because of several reasons and that was one of them. When the clock struck 12.01 I started getting messages and in the morning a couple of my friends called. Some of my really close ones know that I like to get birthday wishes on my phone because it feels more personal. But I guess social network is on par with the  advanced world today and different people find different ways convenient so I guess either way should be alright. The thought is what counts in the end I guess :D Its just that my phone doesn't have Internet plan at the moment so I only got those birthday wishes later in the evening so the entire day I thought those friends forgot. You turning 20 is a pretty big change I guess because you've been using the digit 1 for the past 10 years of your life. And me being the little girl who whined when she turned 10 because "now my age has 2 digits" or the girl who almost teared after her 11th birthday party because "now I cant tell people my age with my fingers" and probably my mother had nothing else to say that she said " you still have your toes" OMG!! When I recall that moment, I think that could make a good line in a comic strip! *hysterical laugh*

So after the 12th up to the 19th birthday everything felt right until suddenly I'm 20? That age makes you say the"I'm sorry. Can you please repeat that question?" line even though you already heard it CLEARLY. 

When we celebrated my birthday 2 days ago at Cosy Place, they brought in the cake with 2 candles only and I thought they were saving or being economical. Until I realised the truth smack in my face. No longer a teen. Welcome to adulthood :)

I'm not exactly the kind of person who likes to say or write about "Where I ate today" or "what I got for my birthday" because i think of those people who maybe didn't even have lunch yet or just eating alone. Or those who don't celebrate the way I do or don't get the things I get. The things that make me happy even though it would be sooo fun to share and talk about it but sometimes its nice to keep it to yourself and as long as you know the person/ that thing makes you happy, the whole world doesn't need to know about it. That's why I choose "motivation" as one of my blogging themes. But of course if I was too extreme then my blog would just be about " A stands for apple. B stands for bear. How are you? I am fine thank you. I like babies. They are cute. You are cute. We are cute."  How do ya like that? ;) This year, I decided to tell the story because I know next year might be different and I want to remember what happened this special year when adulthood officially began for me :)

*cookbook from Grandma, one of the best chefs ;)
* Picture in red taken after my Physics 6 exam- does jet black suit me?

On the very day of my birthday, I came straight to the library when I reached college for exams and discovered that my friend got me strawberry crepe cake. I was touched especially since she was having 2 papers that day but still made effort to make my day :') 

I still remember what happened last year- another one of my close friends pretended that she forgot. I didn't wanna make it a big deal because its just another day for everybody else and just a special day for me. I tried to remember how much she's done and been there for me and something like this shouldn't break our friendship ever so we were in her car and suddenly she stopped and suddenly asked me to go to the car boot and get something important. In my mind I was just rushing because it was night and we were on the way home. Then suddenly, surprise! Yeah I know the 'effect" is greater like that but me so sad at first when people I love do that. Yeah well, some people do forget completely but I guess birthdays are not very easy to remember. Even i have a special little diary just to remember birthdays (that i need to check frequently with hope I don't miss any)

Well yeah my point here is that everybody has their own way of wishing and we need to appreciate that. For me I always do it the 'innocent' way. Wish through their phone, call or meet up. I only wish on social network usually for 3 reasons only: 1. I don't have your number 2. You're living in another country 3. We already celebrated together/ I already wished you so I'm just wishing for the 2nd time.

On the night of my 20th birthday, my sister put birthday balls on my carpet and a big card down there and almost accidentally turn on the lights and when I got up I almost tripped over the balls while going to the toilet. (big balls no joke) Hahaha Then after my exams that day, my dad picked me up at college using GPS because he never went to my college before so this is something to remember. First time he came to my college. Then we went to have Persian delicacies for lunch-dinner.

I literally screamed squealed shrieked when I saw thisss!! Limited edition ;))) Liam's signature on my gift *melt*

I have to say Cosy Place is a wonderful place to have your birthday. My mom chose the place and she didn't tell me where were going. We celebrated both my mom's and my birthday together here because our birthdays are only 2 days apart. I didn't know there was going to be cheese cake and when everybody was done, I took a scoopful of raw veggie on the table and shoved everything into my mouth because I was lazy to pick it one by one and i always make sure i eat veggie - good for the skin - At that very moment the lights at the counter went off and the background music at that pretty restaurant suddenly changed into a cute song that sang " Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday to you" I don't know if its just me or is it the song but my heart feels a pang of sadness whenever I listen to that song carefully maybe recalling the memories I've had everytime I hear that song for the past 20 years of my life. Every year has been different. And realising the cake was heading towards my table, I quickly swallowed the veggie or it would be very embarassing... haha.  And right when the candles were blown, the guy in the vest (manager or cashier i'm not sure) gave me a wrapped present from their restaurant. I'm not sure if they always do this but this is my first time getting a present when dining at a restaurant. The place is pretty and we took pictures after that.

From Cosy Place: A CANDY JAR

And I think back is it really necessary to be sad when you age. No. When you turn 30,40,50 then you look back and say that turning 20 would be a dream come true. Just like that day i turned 10 *winks. Just thank God for giving you another year of life and be contented and grateful for whatever you have at that time. Some things will change over time and may be different one day so embrace every moment of your current life. I hope this has changed some people's perspective on birthdays and remember always that your side of the grass is always greener just because God made it that way :)

Here's the toilet roll a.ka. pencil holder my cousin made for me about 7-8 years ago when he was smaller :) It has sentimental value to me because at that time, he made it for me with hope i felt happy on my birthday and that is what counts in the end. People's thoughts and now he's big so i'm not gonna get anymore handmade crafts (hehe) but once upon a time he could make that and that is why I still keep it till today ~