Dealing With Family Problems

I have just finished reading book #6 of Pretty Little Liars, Flawless and I have to say that I am addicted to the series. Something that triggered me on writing this post other than the fact that I haven't written motivational articles for awhile was how the story was centered on how each and every girl in the story, Aria, Emily, Hanna and Spencer was dealing with their family problems. I think the one with the most serious family problems would be Aria and Hanna. 

I actually cried for Hanna because I sympathized her so much for all the burdens and trouble she was facing. Her family was broken apart, parents divorced, dad married to another woman with an awful but pretty-perfect daughter her age. The girl is a son-of-a-hctib I can't believe heartless people like her actually existed. That girl's mom took Hanna's dad away from her and now she's getting Hanna in trouble all the time and being the worst thing you can imagine. On the other hand, Hanna's mom is having an affair with a young policeman. She's stuck in a situation with noboby to talk to and even her friends are not worth trusting at the moment. To make things worse, her boyfriend dumped her and now seeing Aria.

For Aria, its a different story. Her dad is in a secret relationship with his student, Meredith who is just a few years older than his daughter. She is quite a homely person and cares a lot for her family. She tried talking to that girl and explained that her dad has a family and what she is doing is going to break a happy family but  that girl just dismissed her and closed the door. 

Could you imagine being in such a situation? Reading the story itself made me teary.

What I realised was that both girls started blaming themselves for what happened. As for Hanna, she said that it was her fault that she wasn't pretty enough that now her dad has a better new step-daughter. Its so heart-breaking to hear that and her dad just broke contact with her after getting divorced. The part when she recalls her childhood memories when her dad used to love her so much and they used to have this make-believe dog they would play together was truly heart-breaking.

I have to say that as long as you are living with people, with your family and in a society, its normal to face family problems. Always remember that God will not test you with something that you cannot cope with. If it happens and it hurts, then it was to teach you a life lesson and make you stronger and even a better person. Problems related to your mom and dad have nothing to do with you, so don't blame yourself. No matter how bad you are, if your parents are in a good relationship, the wont break-up. And no matter how good you are, if they are not getting along, there is a chance they will separate.

The best thing to do is just to learn to deal with it and not sweat the stuff that is not within your control. Bear in mind, that every cloud has its silver lining. This means in every bad situation there is some good in it. You just need time and patience to see the good side of it. 

So please don't blame youself, okay? :)

I used to have a friend who was always in a bad mood in the mornings. It happened so frequently that I just felt like I could burst anytime. Then one day she opened up to me about it. It was family problems. Yes, its true that sometimes you get annoyed at someone for acting rude or cold but if you think back and act upon your higher nature instead of your lower instincts, you could get the good out of somebody. Typically, people would just act rude back. Have you tried smiling or offering some candy or a cookie or even took time to listen? A small act of kindness could have made the person's day as she/he has just been surrounded by a lot of negativity. So this friend of mine started telling me her stories and I saw the other side of her that people did not see. She was actually very artistic, smart, hardworking and we became good friends indeed. The day she opened up to me was in 2008 and now in 2012, we still keep in touch and I just got a call from her last week to catch up on our latest stories. She has changed a lot through out the years and that day, 5 years ago, if I had chosen to be mean and act rude in response, the special bond we have today might have never existed. 

This shows that problems may affect you physically or mentally but it does not define who you are. You choose who you want to be and you must be confident and proud of that. Respect your family members no matter how good or bad they are, love them because no matter where you go and who you meet, you can never change who you are and where you're from. Whatever bad they do, let it be between them and God. Its none of your business if you've already tried your best and advised them then that's it. You've done your part and you cannot control people. They are not robots and even if they are, do you have the remote control??

This world is temporary. People come and leave before we know it. Life and death is a part of life and one day the people we hate will die. Let's just create good memories with people around us and live in a way that if you're alive, people will long to see you and if you die, people will mourn your death.

Life would really feel much peaceful doing this. And besides inner contentment is the most important thing that determines true happiness.

If you're having a bad relationship with any of your family members, think twice and maybe it could be something wrong you've done We all are not perfect people ourselves so forgiving is what will make God love you more. Don't expect people to make the first move because the person asking for forgiveness will receive much more reward from God compared to the person who forgives. If its your Mom or Dad, go and give them a hug or if you're not too passionate (guys) write them a note or send them an email first to explain your feelings. Creating peace will make you feel much much better.


I am hoping that all of you are doing well. Have a wonderful weekend. Take care!