Interesting Facts On Malay Wedding
Last Saturday my family and I had a trip to Malacca. Wow it felt like an early Hari Raya celebration! It was my auntie’s wedding so there were many people indeed. I hadn’t seen some of them since Hari Raya last year so you can imagine how big the crowd was. We stayed at a hotel right next to my great grandmother’s house. She passed away but we still gather in the “long” house for special gatherings. Yes it sounds like a village. When you’re in the city most of the time, spending time in the countryside once in awhile is what I like best.
Today I’m going to tell you about the Malay marriage and the special customs Malacca people carry out during the special day.
For Malay weddings (and I’m sure for almost every wedding) the men suffer a little because they are to be responsible for the newly wedded wife, future kids and their marriage. My aunt and new uncle engaged last year in 2011 before Hari Raya. Then, they planned for their marriage a year later which was yesterday.
In the early morning, the men ( the groom, his dad and the bride’s dad) conducted the akad nikah. Its an agreement between the bride’s father and the groom. Its another way of the father saying :
“ I accept you as my son-in-law and hand over the responsibility of guarding my beloved daughter with love, care and compassion and I trust this young man to provide eternal happiness to her now, forever and always.”
They shake hands and the bride and groom agrees. Finally they are lawfully bonded to each other. As the bride sits on a beautiful throne surrounded by artificial flowers –large and graceful imitating dancing swans in the living room. He bows down to the girl of his dreams, she takes his hand and he kisses her on the forehead, thankful that they have finally achieved their dreams of being together forever. She shed tears and the women were all holding tissues in their hands prepared of the unexpected tears that betrays the eye during some part of the ceremony.
He leaves her with a promise to come in the afternoon for the “majlis persandingan” where the guests arrive, give presents, bless their wedding with prayers and by sprinkling flowers, yellow rice and scented water. (I am having trouble translating here-usually these terms are in Malay) Its called tepung tawar. You do this as soon as you reach the wedding ceremony to show your blessing. My dad did this for the first time and he sprinkled a lot of those flowers that it got onto the brides eyelashes so I groomed her right after that.
In the afternoon, the groom arrives with his “ Best Man” and his family. Ok here’s the funny part! In Malacca, the weddings have something called “bayar tol” whereby anyone from the bride’s family asks for money from the groom on his way inside the house. So the groom had to go through 4 “tolls” before he was allowed to enter the house and go up the "pelamin" to meet his bride. At first, an uncle of mine asked for “tol” at the gate, then someone else asked at the porch, then my grandma asked him at the door of the main entrance and finally he laughed when a little boy stood before the bride and put his hand out, asking for the “final tol”. The bride was fanned and her face was covered until the groom successfully reached his final destination at the grand throne beside his queen. The fan ( which was white and resembles peacock feathers) was removed so he could see her gorgeous face. This is one of the times I regret not taking much pictures. I know I won’t make a good photographer. My sister does ;) so let’s hope she’ll give me some of her pictures.
My aunt is such a good poser. Last night, they had a photography session and she was dressed in a Korean dress, Arabian dress, Indian gown and a royal outfit with the white veil and black tie. This information was obtained from my cousin, Alia because I haven’t reached Malacca yet at that time.
She was super stunning! Plus she’s really fair and cute too ^^
Their wedding proceeded till the evening where loads of guest arrived at Dato’ and Datin’s wedding. My granduncle was a former Chief Police- so it was pretty cool that he got the title upon retirement.
Another funny thing about Malacca weddings is that the new couple will have to wash ALL the pots and pans after the wedding. No maid, no helper, nobody to help- Both of them have to help each other and go through all the pain together till all the pots are clean. Behind this custom, there is a purpose and a reason. In every marriage, there is always ups and downs but the couple will need to go through thick and thin together, help each other and work hard to save their marriage from falling apart. So the old people decided to do this “wash the pots” tradition so the couple are exposed to hardship at an early stage of the wedding and they learn to cope with this even on the first day.
Right after the wedding, the Financial AJK which included my grandma (did you know they even had AJKs for this wedding! And they were among the older people) started counting the money people gave during their visit. When you visit a Malay wedding, you either give money or gifts. When they dumped the envelopes, it was a gigantic pile indeed. Let’s go to the presents!!!! The biggest present was awarded by Groom’s Father. I loved to see the pressies because they were so beautifully wrapped. They got ovens, microwaves, clocks, bedsheets, albums and the best present ever – Black night gown and matching boxers! I bet one of their friends are responsible for that. Hahaha
So now I’m on my way back to KL. I got to babysit few babies in Malacca especially a little girl- 1 year 8 months, Khadijah and a 6 year-old-boy, Adam. She didn’t even let me go when it was time to leave. I love manja babies because my brother doesn’t want to be my cute little munch-kin pie anymore with the reason that he’s already big. But but he’s only 5 +. That’s considered a baby right???
I even peeked into the bride and groom’s room. One word- WOW. No wonder they call it “Raja Sehari” It means King For the Day. The bed even had its little chandelier at the top.
So which part do you like best about Malay weddings?
Today I’m going to tell you about the Malay marriage and the special customs Malacca people carry out during the special day.
For Malay weddings (and I’m sure for almost every wedding) the men suffer a little because they are to be responsible for the newly wedded wife, future kids and their marriage. My aunt and new uncle engaged last year in 2011 before Hari Raya. Then, they planned for their marriage a year later which was yesterday.
In the early morning, the men ( the groom, his dad and the bride’s dad) conducted the akad nikah. Its an agreement between the bride’s father and the groom. Its another way of the father saying :
“ I accept you as my son-in-law and hand over the responsibility of guarding my beloved daughter with love, care and compassion and I trust this young man to provide eternal happiness to her now, forever and always.”
They shake hands and the bride and groom agrees. Finally they are lawfully bonded to each other. As the bride sits on a beautiful throne surrounded by artificial flowers –large and graceful imitating dancing swans in the living room. He bows down to the girl of his dreams, she takes his hand and he kisses her on the forehead, thankful that they have finally achieved their dreams of being together forever. She shed tears and the women were all holding tissues in their hands prepared of the unexpected tears that betrays the eye during some part of the ceremony.
He leaves her with a promise to come in the afternoon for the “majlis persandingan” where the guests arrive, give presents, bless their wedding with prayers and by sprinkling flowers, yellow rice and scented water. (I am having trouble translating here-usually these terms are in Malay) Its called tepung tawar. You do this as soon as you reach the wedding ceremony to show your blessing. My dad did this for the first time and he sprinkled a lot of those flowers that it got onto the brides eyelashes so I groomed her right after that.
In the afternoon, the groom arrives with his “ Best Man” and his family. Ok here’s the funny part! In Malacca, the weddings have something called “bayar tol” whereby anyone from the bride’s family asks for money from the groom on his way inside the house. So the groom had to go through 4 “tolls” before he was allowed to enter the house and go up the "pelamin" to meet his bride. At first, an uncle of mine asked for “tol” at the gate, then someone else asked at the porch, then my grandma asked him at the door of the main entrance and finally he laughed when a little boy stood before the bride and put his hand out, asking for the “final tol”. The bride was fanned and her face was covered until the groom successfully reached his final destination at the grand throne beside his queen. The fan ( which was white and resembles peacock feathers) was removed so he could see her gorgeous face. This is one of the times I regret not taking much pictures. I know I won’t make a good photographer. My sister does ;) so let’s hope she’ll give me some of her pictures.
My aunt is such a good poser. Last night, they had a photography session and she was dressed in a Korean dress, Arabian dress, Indian gown and a royal outfit with the white veil and black tie. This information was obtained from my cousin, Alia because I haven’t reached Malacca yet at that time.
She was super stunning! Plus she’s really fair and cute too ^^
Their wedding proceeded till the evening where loads of guest arrived at Dato’ and Datin’s wedding. My granduncle was a former Chief Police- so it was pretty cool that he got the title upon retirement.
Another funny thing about Malacca weddings is that the new couple will have to wash ALL the pots and pans after the wedding. No maid, no helper, nobody to help- Both of them have to help each other and go through all the pain together till all the pots are clean. Behind this custom, there is a purpose and a reason. In every marriage, there is always ups and downs but the couple will need to go through thick and thin together, help each other and work hard to save their marriage from falling apart. So the old people decided to do this “wash the pots” tradition so the couple are exposed to hardship at an early stage of the wedding and they learn to cope with this even on the first day.
Right after the wedding, the Financial AJK which included my grandma (did you know they even had AJKs for this wedding! And they were among the older people) started counting the money people gave during their visit. When you visit a Malay wedding, you either give money or gifts. When they dumped the envelopes, it was a gigantic pile indeed. Let’s go to the presents!!!! The biggest present was awarded by Groom’s Father. I loved to see the pressies because they were so beautifully wrapped. They got ovens, microwaves, clocks, bedsheets, albums and the best present ever – Black night gown and matching boxers! I bet one of their friends are responsible for that. Hahaha
So now I’m on my way back to KL. I got to babysit few babies in Malacca especially a little girl- 1 year 8 months, Khadijah and a 6 year-old-boy, Adam. She didn’t even let me go when it was time to leave. I love manja babies because my brother doesn’t want to be my cute little munch-kin pie anymore with the reason that he’s already big. But but he’s only 5 +. That’s considered a baby right???
I even peeked into the bride and groom’s room. One word- WOW. No wonder they call it “Raja Sehari” It means King For the Day. The bed even had its little chandelier at the top.
So which part do you like best about Malay weddings?
the font and colour is soooo bad
ReplyDeleteoops sorry! I used to like coloured fonts when I was a teen hehe. I am now changing them to black. Hope this works! Thanks for the feedback
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