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Being Confident

Confidence...? hmm...many people lack of this and some are just too over confident. Both are not good and you have to know how to act in different situations. Ill share my own experience with you on how i dealt with my own confidence and self-esteem.

In my preteen years, I started to transform in many ways and i was the old me anymore. I was shy and really really unconfident of myself. It was like a turning point in my life when everything about me began to change. I did not enjoy the things i used to in elementary school except for studying since that barely involved interacting with people. My social skills were bad I would say. I could do class presentations perfectly and teachers praised me for that. I could complete an assignment accurately and have it well-done. I could get wonderful grades and be the top 10 students in my new school but one thing i couldnt do well was being confident with myself. Since i was not confident with myself, this affected my social life and pretty much my self-esteem. If I were to tell this to anyone today, they would think I am joking or that im just creating a cock-and-bull story but seriously it was reality. Many people did try to get close to me, be friends and try to get to know me better but my lack of interest or actually my wrong response made them stop trying. I didnt know how to respond, i was shy and i was pretty negative at times too. To me, all i wanted at that time was a true friend. Friends came and left. The true fact was that my truest bestfriend forever in elementary school ditched me when we moved to middle school and i was left with awful memories before moving to this new school. I hated changes because the problem was i couldnt easily adapt to changes at that time. I even hated if my teacher even changed my place in class or even if someone changed my table or chair. Thats how bad i hated changes.Well yeah so changing schools added up to the changes in my life. Ive been to 7-8 schools throughout my life and adapting is not easy i tell you. I was the one who agreed to change schools because my previous school was the one where i had bad memories with my BFF and besides the school i was moving to was a much better one.:)

You cant change your life and how it is but one thing you can do is change the you within yourself. Learn to improve yourself and learn to better every single day. Set a new year's resolution and work towards it. Thats what I did and after a year in my new school i began to learn, i began to accept myself. CHANGING IS NOT i repeat NOT AS EASY AS IT SOUNDS.
I can write about it here and it may sound so easy and you might say what a happy ending but no, changing was not easy. It required a great amount of patience, strength, determination, perseverance. I had to be patient with other people's response and reaction upon my change. I had to be strong to overcome my fears and weaknesses.I had to be determine so that not a single soul could discourage me for what Im doing and I had to have perseverance to continue doing what i did despite the pain and challenges I was facing. Tears , disappointment and sorrow were part of the challenge towards my way to changing my inner self. My mom gave me the most moral support and my sister believed in me and helped me out. I couldnt have done it without them and i really mean this.

When i recall the challenges i faced, the things people said ,tears do come.:) Like this one time, when i went for drama audition(drama is sth i have passion for cuz i can be whoever i want to be and express myself in any way without caring what people think)ok so back to the story i had this drama audition and the teachers and the drama instructor loved me a lot that they gave me the main role in our school drama for the female character. On the next days and the following week, news spread. I was standing at the first line and i heard the girls gossiping behind me. I am certain that they did not see me there and their topic of conversation was about the school drama. The girl was upset because she did not get the main role and they were criticising me and saying
"Who in the world is that girl?(thats me haha) i never even heard her name before? how can she get the main role? i just cant believe it"

I felt like turning around and introducing myself but i thought a more brilliant idea. I turned to my friend beside and and began telling her of all the wonderful things during drama practice and how happy i was. The gossiping girl got the shock of their lives and i made them shut up.haha XD

People may not have the faith in you or uncertain of your capabilities but just make them shut up by showing how great you are. Theres no need for argument or negativity. The brightness, brilliance and talent in you is worse than any negative statement you can give them. :) Well yeah so right after that i was involved in so many activities: You name it!
Public speaking, debating, poem recitation(i created my own poem and got first place for Form 4 and Upper Form Category), emceeing, Organiser of teacher's day, speakers corner, master of ceremony of talentime, drama, president for debate club, secretary for Prefectorial Board, Student Body,basketball( gold medal.love basketball!) and so so many more i think you get my point so i dont have to mention all.haha I bet your questioning- How was my academics and grades?? I became the top 3 student in my form during the same year that i decided to change. This shows that you can be more than 1 thing in life. Being good in academics doesnt mean you cant achieve anything else and it definitely DOES NOT label you as a nerd. Being the top 3 student in school, i received an award from the Principal and she acknowledged me for that.

My point here is i bet all those people who were negative about my success and who looked down on me just had chocolate cake smooshed on their face looking at how wrong they were. I never had any hard feelings against any of them and i am nice to them although i know what they say. No matter how bad people are, if you want your life to be good, then be nice and polite to evryone including those who are mean to you. They might be mean cuz they're jealous and your kindness might make it fade away and you might be friends in the end. Like that girl who was gossiping behind me, i went to her birthday party right after the competition. We are good friends and i dont plan on changing that.

Because to me, everyone plays an important role in your life and if you ditch one of them, you might be facing a hardship without any help.

i just wanna say that i dont think im perfect. there are more improvements i should do in me. Afterall this life is a journey to learn.So yeah, if you think of changing ar improving confidence, go ahead. Ill be supporting you if no one else is:D

Comments

  1. oops i didnt realise it was this long:)hehe

    ReplyDelete
  2. i pun sometime takde self confident . and what i wnat to say is i suka almost u pnya notes .

    ReplyDelete
  3. oh really?thanks a lot.im glad u suka:D
    yea biasala kalau u feel like that sometimes..just kena overcome that feeling. :D dun worry

    ReplyDelete

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