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How to Deal With Homesickness

Dear Readers, 

I am very happy to write tonight, I know its been months and I've been through a lot of adventure. I believe you deserve to know what I've been up to since I last blogged. Well in mid March I went for my fieldtrip to Pyrenees it was like the Urra trip I had last year but much better :) Then as soon as I returned to London, my mum, brother and sister arrived here for a holiday. I was very delighted and super duper happy with their presence, I always miss them so very much. We spent two weeks going around London, having my mum's cookings again, we went for a short trip to Paris, Cotsworld, Oxford and Stratford. We went for a tour in Wembley Stadium, to Chessington Park, to Olympic Park, Hyde Park, and many more exciting places. It was such a beautiful dream for me and also a good break from studying. As soon as they left to Malaysia, I began studying for my final exam at the end of April which ended last Friday. I was really sad at first. Whenever I saw anything that reminded me of my brother or their time here, I started to tear. He made me a mask and painted it, I just couldn't bear looking at it without missing him, He googled something on my phone, I did not want to remove that page from history and just left it because it was him who typed the words there. When I went to a restaurant that I previously went with them and my two cousins, I ordered quickly and went outside. After a few minutes, I returned to get my order and accidentally glanced at the table that we all sat. I tried to contain myself but couldn't help it and started tearing again. It was not very easy for me even though I am already on my second year here. This second year though I feel very much stronger and confident than I felt last year alhamdulillah. However, I can't help but still be very sad at transition periods like when I just reached or saying goodbye phases, after a few days or a week insyaAllah I feel much better. 

In the process of making myself feel better, I told myself that I had my final exams coming. I had to stay focused, disciplined and positive. I am here for a good reason, I am not going to forget that and a main part of that reason is for my family. So in response my reader who mentioned about being homesick, try to think about all the benefits that you will achieve once you complete your studies. Yes you will miss you home, your family and your little cousins. But think at how your success in education will allow you to get a stable job and good income and that will tremendously help those people you love. Yes its true that money can't buy love but it can buy necessities for your loved ones and even special treats. Wouldn't that make them happy? That would come later and now let's think of the benefit of that now. Being away from home gives you more time to yourself, you will have time to do things, hobbies that you never had the time to consider before. You will be less distracted by family functions, events, etc and have more focus on what you need to do each day for yourself, for your education. This does not make you selfish but it enhances self-management skills whereby you need to plan your day, your week without your family planning it for you. Also living independently in a foreign place whether it is in the same country or different, allows you to broaden your mind and explore new places. This can be very exciting. I always like to think that I am on a long holiday in London and on this holiday I have been given the honour  to stay near the palace and study at a prestigious university. Its all like a make-believe fairytale dream which is opposed to reality but the young self inside me likes to think of it this way so it feels more exciting :) Whenever I have breaks or finish exams I would celebrate and reward myself and go on a real holiday in or outside London. I may not celebrate with wine but with bubble tea hehe. 

Like last Friday after exams I was thinking of what can I do to reward myself. I dropped by the local library to see if they had any nice DVDs but no. I spoke to my mum and sister and my mum suggested I go out for a movie. Capucine and I had plans of seeing each other Friday night so I suggested we watch Cinderella in Leciester Square and have dinner there. She suggested we have dinner at 5 Guys- I had vegetarian burger. Its the same place I went with my family after we watched The Lion King Musical Theatre when they were here. Thankfully I was so so cheerful that night that I did not feel sad but I avoided sitting at the same table or thinking too much about it. The movie was amazing! The last time I watched a movie at the theatre was in Christmas break so you see I usually go when I have breaks because I am really occupied whenever term starts. Coincidentally my aunt and cousins were in the same area that night! The weekend was equally fun, on Sat my <3 and I cooked beef curry and then went to South Bank Book Market and the Malaysian Festival. I managed to get a book for myself and 2 books for my brother. I had teh tarik, apam balik for £4 (RM20+ omg) and kuey teow. Then I watched Paddington Bear at night. The next day Capucine and I had creped at South Kensington for lunch. We had a savoury Italian pepperoni (it was halal) and then shared a nutella one for dessert. Then we went cycling in Hyde Park, the last time I cycled was Nov 2013 at the same place, can't believe it was that long ago. Then I read a book on the grass in the sun. When it got windy we went to the Science Museum then walked around the area into bakery shops. Later that night I made maggi for our dinner it was so yummy, she likes it too although I thought it would be too spicy for her. And today we have a day off for Bank Holiday I am catching up with whatever I need to do before the start of labs tomorrow (time to get busy again). 

You see that it can be pretty exciting when you find things you enjoy doing, find good friends insyaAllah and also just live the moment. Remember that you are going to university or wherever you are at the moment only for a short fraction of your life, Its not forever and you will return once you are done with your responsibility. Stay positive about it and discover things you can do to make you feel very lucky for where you are at the moment, Think that if you were back home you would not be able to do this and this. Nothing compares to being at home in your comfort zone, I know I know but while you are there now, be happy about it because one day it will be time to go home, You want to go home with a positive experience and good memories, not sadistic homesick feelings the entire time. Cheer up and call your family as frequently as you want to. No excuse for being too expensive because now we have Whatsapp calls, Viber, Line, Skype. Call until you feel like you have nothing else to say and that you need to rush and get back to work. 

Fill your time and make it so packed like stuffing feathers in a pillow ;) Don't give any time for you to be sad or feel down. Make every use of your time for whatever you enjoy doing. Sometimes it can be too gloomy to be indoors all the time, go out and take a walk. If there is nobody to go out with you, be independent go yourself but make sure you know your way and go to safe places, preferably in the day. Imagine I leave home at 8ish and most days return at 8ish because I devote extra time for yoga. It interests me and I am willing to help out and get free lessons. So when I go back I instantly only have time for important things before going to bed right away. 

Arrange time for your family and friends. Although you may be busy, it is really comforting to actually see them via skype, etc. Remember that other people are busy as well and it is not particularly easy when you have a 7-8 hour time difference, For example when I am almost going to sleep (11pm UK time), my family is only about to wake up (7am Malaysian time). So when people are unable to make a call whatsoever, relax you can arrange another time. There may be also a time that they want to talk and it is not suitable for you. So be flexible about it.

Make any alone time a time to be close to God and to perform prayer, also to reflect on yourself. Sometimes God keeps the people he loves away for a period of time from their family to make them closer to Him. Any sacrifice made because of Him will be granted with beautiful rewards. Remember that the world is temporary and you need to prepare yourself for the day.

Also every growing lady or man should practice being independent as they are going to have lives and families of their own in the future. If mum and dad have always been doing literally everything then its time to improvise that before taking a step further in life. When living independently I have learned a lot of things and have been under the pressure of having to do things rather than wanting to in the first place, For example if I were not here, I wouldn't have known I could cook so many different things more than I would imagine compared to 3 years ago. I have also learned to do my own shopping and decide which brand food I would buy and how much, ration it so I finish within the date. Make sure I have every essential at home or know exactly where to get it. I have learned how to use public transport. My mum has pampered me and driven me to almost everywhere I have had to go and now I am literally using 100% public transport or walking. Drastic change but alhamdulillah I managed it. 

Always read motivational books, articles and quotes. Whenever I go to a bookstore I always search the motivational section. Chicken Soup has been with me as I was growing up and as much as I enjoy writing motivational articles, I need constant motivation for myself because at times we may forget the basic things. 

Finally, have a positive mind and always believe everything happens for a reason. Believe that any hardship will be granted with happiness and you will be surprised at how different you look at things. 

Take care guys and till my next post. Hope this articles is helpful, have a wonderful week :D




Comments

  1. As always...very inspirational and uplifting! Stay strong Kak... Hehe... I have been reading your posts since 2013 and still ongoing! Keep up the amazing work!
    Love and hearts from Malaysia~

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aww thank you soooo much Anis Diana, I appreciate you support :* hugs and hearts <3

    ReplyDelete

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